Most families assume applying for an au pair program is straightforward – fill out some forms, pick someone from photos, and wait for them to arrive. The reality involves multiple stages, background checks, legal requirements, and a matching process that can take anywhere from two to six months. Understanding what actually happens behind the scenes helps families prepare for the journey and avoid common frustrations along the way.
The Initial Application Phase
The process begins with families completing detailed applications that go far beyond basic contact information. Agencies need comprehensive details about household routines, parenting styles, expectations for childcare hours, and specific requirements for au pairs. This includes everything from whether smoking is allowed in the home to how discipline is handled with children.
Most agencies require families to submit photos of their home, including bedrooms, common areas, and the space where the au pair would live. These aren’t just casual snapshots – agencies want to see that families can provide appropriate living conditions and private space for their au pair. The bedroom requirements alone can be quite specific, often needing windows, adequate storage, and separate entrance access.
Financial documentation comes next. Agencies verify that families can afford not just the program fees, but also the ongoing costs of hosting an au pair. This includes the weekly stipend (currently around $200), room and board expenses, educational requirements, and potential travel costs.
Background Checks and Home Studies
Here’s where things get thorough. Every adult family member over 18 undergoes criminal background checks at both state and federal levels. This process can take several weeks, and any issues that surface need explanation and documentation. Agencies aren’t necessarily looking for perfect records, but they need transparency about any incidents.
The home study component varies by agency but typically involves either an in-person visit or a virtual tour with detailed questioning. Social workers or agency representatives evaluate family dynamics, safety measures in the home, and the general environment an au pair would experience. They’re checking for red flags but also ensuring families understand their responsibilities as host families.
Character references get contacted during this phase. Agencies usually require three to five references from people who know the family well and can speak to their character and parenting abilities. These conversations can be quite detailed, covering everything from how parents handle stress to whether they’ve successfully managed household help before.
The Matching Process
Once families pass the initial screening, they enter the matching phase where things get interesting. Professional agencies like Go Au Pair maintain databases of pre-screened au pair candidates from various countries, each with their own profiles, experience levels, and preferences for family types.
Families typically receive several potential matches to review. These profiles include detailed information about each candidate’s childcare experience, education, interests, and specific preferences about family size, ages of children, and location. The process isn’t just about families choosing au pairs – candidates also have preferences and can decline families they don’t think would be good matches.
Phone or video interviews come next, usually facilitated or monitored by the agency. These conversations help both parties get a feel for personality, communication style, and whether expectations align. Many families conduct multiple interviews before making a decision, and it’s not uncommon for initial matches to fall through during this stage.
Legal Documentation and Visa Processing
Once a match is agreed upon, the legal paperwork begins in earnest. Au pairs coming to the United States need J-1 visas, which require extensive documentation from both the agency and the host family. This includes proof of the au pair’s qualifications, the family’s ability to provide appropriate housing and compensation, and detailed program agreements.
The DS-2019 form is central to this process. This document, issued by the sponsoring agency, allows au pairs to apply for their J-1 visas at U.S. consulates in their home countries. Any errors or missing information can delay the entire process by weeks or months.
Background checks happen on the au pair side too. Agencies verify education, conduct criminal background checks in the candidate’s home country, and often require medical examinations. Some countries have more streamlined processes than others, which can affect timing significantly.
Pre-Arrival Preparations
The weeks before an au pair’s arrival involve final preparations that many families underestimate. Agencies typically provide orientation materials for both families and au pairs, covering cultural expectations, legal requirements, and practical matters about daily life.
Insurance arrangements need finalization during this period. Au pairs must have health insurance that meets specific J-1 visa requirements, and families need to understand their responsibilities regarding coverage and claims processes.
Educational requirements also come into play. Au pairs must complete a certain number of educational credits during their stay, so families often help research local colleges or online programs that fit their au pair’s interests and schedule.
Timeline Realities
The entire process from initial application to au pair arrival typically takes three to six months, but several factors can extend this timeline. Summer placements often take longer due to higher demand, while families with very specific requirements (particular languages, experience with functional needs children, or unusual schedules) may wait longer for appropriate matches.
Holiday seasons can slow things down considerably, both in terms of agency processing and visa appointments at consulates. Families planning to have an au pair start in September often need to begin the process in early spring to avoid delays.
What Can Go Wrong
Several common issues can derail or delay the process. Incomplete applications slow everything down, as agencies can’t move forward until all documentation is complete and accurate. Background check issues, even minor ones, require additional paperwork and explanations that add weeks to the timeline.
Failed matches during the interview process send families back to square one with new candidates. Some families go through multiple potential matches before finding the right fit, which can be emotionally draining and time-consuming.
Visa delays at consulates can happen due to high demand, incomplete paperwork, or issues with the au pair’s documentation in their home country. These delays are often outside everyone’s control but can disrupt carefully planned start dates.
Setting Realistic Expectations
The au pair application process requires patience, thorough preparation, and realistic timeline expectations. Families who understand the complexity upfront tend to have smoother experiences and better outcomes. While the process might seem overwhelming initially, agencies handle much of the administrative burden and guide families through each step.
Success often comes down to thorough preparation, honest communication about expectations, and flexibility with timing. Families who treat the process as an investment in finding the right long-term childcare solution, rather than a quick fix, typically end up with better matches and more positive experiences overall.
