Let’s face it: In the age of online dating, finding the right person is emotionally exhausting and time-consuming. Speed dating gives you an opportunity to meet a lot of potential matches under one roof. Instead of swiping through dozens of profiles, you meet people in real life, get to know them, and see if there’s a spark.
That said, speed dating isn’t as seamless as it sounds. From not knowing what to wear to how to start a conversation, it is normal to feel overwhelmed. But with some expert tips and tricks up your sleeve, you can make speed dating a success. Here’s a closer look:
Arrive a Little Early
Meeting new people is inherently nerve-wracking. The stakes are a bit high for speed dating events. Fear of judgment, insecurity, and unpredictable outcomes can exacerbate stress. One of the simplest things you can do to calm your nerves is arrive a little early.
For instance, if you’re attending a speed dating New York event, arrive 10-15 minutes before. Traffic is unbelievable, and arriving early will give you a chance to find a nearby parking spot and familiarise yourself with the venue, be it a bar, restaurant, or an event space. Catch your breath and ground yourself.
Slotting latecomers is stressful for organisers, so save yourself from unnecessary awkwardness.
Dress Appropriately
First impressions matter, probably more than you’d think. While speed dating events don’t necessarily have a dress code, the vibe is generally smart-casual.
A smart-casual outfit hits that sweet spot between sophisticated pieces and relaxed clothes. It shows you’ve made an effort without going overboard.
This could mean loose-fitting pants with a button-down. For women, it could mean a knee-length dress paired with a cardigan. Don’t forget to accessorise. A classic bracelet, a textured scarf, or a stylish clutch can add personality to your outfit.
Listen Actively
We get it — everyone likes to talk about themselves. And many times, people monopolise the conversation without realising it.

Make a conscious effort to listen to the person in front of you. Eliminate distractions by putting away your phone and maintaining good eye contact. Go beyond surface-level talk and ask open-ended questions. Ask follow-up questions and avoid story-trumping.
Keep an Open Mind
Attending a speed dating event doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll meet the love of your life. Keeping an open mind can offer unexpected benefits.
You might be surprised to find a connection with someone who doesn’t seem like your usual “type” in dating. Moreover, approaching each interaction with curiosity makes the entire experience more fun and exciting.
Keep Conversation Starters Handy
Speed dating is pretty fast-paced. Using engaging and catchy conversation starters can increase your chances of finding a connection.
Here are some examples:
- What’s your favourite meal?
- What does your ideal weekend look like?
- What’s your biggest turn-off in a potential partner?
- What’s your go-to karaoke song?
- What’s your weird or useless hidden talent?
Be your authentic self and answer questions truthfully.


